Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The Ballad Of Big John (Demjanjuk)

[Speaking of parodies, here's my latest, although it's not really all mine. I have a co-author on this one who for obvious reasons does not wish to be credited. -HAC]

The Ballad of Big John (Demjanjuk)

Every morning at the camp, you could see him arrive.
He stood 6 foot 6 and weighed 245.
Kind of broad at the shoulders, and narrow at the hip.
And every Jew knew you didn't give no lip to Big John.

Big John
Big John
Big Bad John

Nobody seemed to know where John called home
He just showed up in camp wearing skull and bones.
He didn't say much, a strong silent goy,
And if you spoke at all, you just said "oy!" to Big John.

Somebody said John came from the Ukraine,
Where the Marxist dialectic drives a man insane,
And a crashing blow from a huge right hand,
Sent a kosher commissar to the Promised Land.

Big John
Big John
Big bad John

Then came the day when a B-17,
Dropped a load on the camp, and the Jews starting peein'.
The barracks were a-burnin' and the showers stuck fast,
And all the SS thought they'd gassed their last,

'Cept John.

Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell,
Walked a giant of a man that the kapos knew well.
He grabbed up a canister of Zyklon B
And stood there alone like a big oak tree.

Big John
Big John
Big Bad John

Then with all of his strength, he gave a mighty heave,
And the commandant shouted out "Ach du lieb!"
As the canister bounced off Elie Wiesel's nut,
And rolled on and busted Simon Wiesenthal's gut.

Big John
Big John
Big Bad John

Now they never re-opened that worthless camp,
They just placed a marble plaque in the cold and damp.
These few words are written on that stand,
"In the dock in Munich stands a big, big man.
Big John."

Big John,
Big John,
Big bad John.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can't wait to hear this sung. Have any musicians volunteered?

8:05 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you could find a karaoke version of this song (music with no singing), a reading of this on a radio show would drive 'em nuts.

8:21 PM  

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