Friday, July 31, 2015

Honest Injun



Dear Mr. XXX:

Assuming that your e-mail isn't one of these stupid trolls I get on this subject all the time (for some reason lefty-libs are fascinated with this "who is White" topic and go to great lengths to try and get me to comment on it, have done for years, presumably in order to get us squabbling and screaming at one another on the internet, which we don't need their help to do, we do that quite well enough on our own, thank you ... where was I?)--

Okay, assuming this is a serious question, I will now indulge in one of the extremely rare occasions down through the years I have bothered to comment on it. Like count on the fingers of one hand in 43 years I have bothered.

I am a Southerner myself, from North Carolina. Long ago I noticed that our kind have one very strange mental quirk. Well, several, actually, but this one's pretty bizarre. It's been around for a long time, ever since I can remember.

For some reason having nothing to do with sanity, a lot of Southerners think it is in some weird way cool, or fashionable, or chic to claim to be part Indian. Usually Cherokee. (Why Cherokee, of all the godawful things? They were pretty scummy even by Indian standards.) Sometimes Tuscarora, a down-east tribe our ancestors exterminated root and branch in 1712, so being "descended" from them is quite a trick.

I notice that this bizarre trait of Southerners to claim to be part Indian doesn't seem to apply in Robeson County, where there is a small colony of genuine Indian-White and Indian-nigger half-breeds called Lumbees. Nobody in his right mind would want to claim to be a Lumbee, one of the few legitimate Southern tribes or ethnic Indian groups. Most of the "Indians" claiming to be Cherokees up in the mountains and selling "genuine Indian artifacts" from roadside stands along the Blue Ridge Parkway are either Mexicans or Jews.

Now, if one must for some incomprehensible reason claim to be part redskin, although for the very life of me I can't understand why--okay, I can see maybe wanting to claim some Comanche or Apache or Sioux or Cheyenne ancestry. Some of those Plains Indians had panache, I'll give 'em that. But an East Coast tribe? They were Stone Age savages. The ones down on the Gulf, the Karakawa (? Think that's what they were called) were coprophagic. They literally ate shit.

Before you ask, Northwest Indians made cool-looking totem poles and ate each other. They were cannibals.

I have run into this "ah'm part Cherokee" blethers time and time and time again, and although it irritates me, it doesn't bother me, because in 99 cases out of a hundred it's horse manure, and the person involved is as White as I am. It turns out that the alleged "Indian" ancestry is either so way far back as to be unprovable, or else it's just bogus. For example, our big Indian Rights leader in North Carolina, a loon named Eddie Hatcher, claimed to be a non-existent Tuscarora. He later died in prison of AIDS. Heap big misuse of totem pole.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with us, any of us, but I gave up trying to figure this Cherokee crap a long time ago.
 


2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Basically, the Cherokee are the best "known" Indian tribe. Even someone who knows jack shit about the Injuns will say Cherokee if you ask them what they know about Indians.

Also, the Cherokee are famous for their casinos and the so-called "Trail of Tears." The "what-is-it" singer Cher claimed to be part Cherokee (she's definitely part _something_) and sang about them in a number of asinine songs I had to listen to non stop through the 1970s.

And, unlike the Lumbagos you mentioned, or whoever they are, the Lumbees, the Cherokee are distant enough and gone enough for it to be "cool" claiming to be one. Sort of like claiming to be an ancient Egyptian. There aren't any and no true decedents of them around, so you can just use your imagination.

6:38 PM  
Blogger Luek said...

I too have observed this phenomenon where supposedly racially aware whites will identify as having an Asiatic strain in their ancestry. Even though very few actually have genetic ties to aboriginal North American tribes.

However and this is a fact almost all whites and Orientals have about 2.5% of Neanderthal ancestry in their makeup. This is what happened to the Neanderthals. This actual truth could be a rather cool substitute for the myth of having an Asiatic ancestor.

DNA tests are now rather inexpensive and getting one will settle what your ancestor were. There are several good ones on the internet. The best is probably the National Geographic Genome Project.

10:14 PM  

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