Sunday, March 04, 2012

Jewish Women

[Okay, I guess it's time for another trip down memory lane. I first posted this almost seven years ago--damn! Time flies when you're having fun!--and I re-post it regularly with slight updates. It never fails to get dozens of comments, more than any article I've ever had on here. Many of the comments come from Jewish men agreeing with me. Really, no joke. - HAC]

A friend and I were nattering on line about Jews in Hollywood, and he mentioned that while the Jewess Lauren Bacall was actually quite a fox in her Bogarting days, in later life she was a genuinely horrible-looking old yenta. This set off my standard rave about Jewish women as evidenced by their Hollywood exemplars, and it strikes me I haven't ever blogged that one.

The fact is that Jewish women really just aren't that sexually attractive on the whole. Even their own men don't find them so. This probably has something to do with the general neurosis that appears both among them and Jewish men. You'll notice that in great "classics" of Joosh literchur like Portnoy's Complaint, as well as in real life, it's always the blond Gentile woman that Sammy Glick and Portnoy and his counterparts lust after.

JAPs have a very grim reputation along that line as ugly, greedy, arrogant, self-absorbed, bitchy and repulsive in their personal habits, crazy as loons, and sexually frigid. Gina Gershon may have a certain exotic air, but you look close and you get the impression of body hair and odor.

Okay, I'll grant you, some Jewesses are pretty cute when they're in their teens, especially the Hollywood variety who have the benefit of the most skilled makeup artists, trainers, plastic surgeons, and cosmetologists in the world. But when they hit about age 21 they start to get porky, misproportioned, saggy-titted and camel-faced really quick.

Good example #1: Alicia Silverstone, whom I saw in some bow-wow the other day. I think her face must have been plastic-surgeried as to the nose, since that's still pretty pert. She and Michael Jackson may share the same nip-and-tucker. But I'll swear she's already had her first face lift, and it still hasn't completely done in the jowls and chubby cheeks.

Despite liposucting a whole barrel of lard off her thighs and gut, she's still thick in the middle. In that Aerosmith video she did at 15 she was an incredible edible, but even by the time of Clueless she was starting to get noticeably heavy hips. Not so much a negroid buffalo butt as she's just thick in the body, a very common attribute of Jewish females. No wonder her career is in the toilet, given Hollywood's obsession with thinness.

Supposedly Alicia won't do nude scenes as a matter of principle. Well, maybe. But more likely, she can't find anyone who's interested in seeing her nekkid. Producers don't want their male audiences yelling "Put it back on! Put it all back on!"

I hear Alicia, as well as some others I won't name, are on something Hollywood unofficially refers to as the "Buchenwald Diet" (invented by a Jew doctor, of course) of 900 calories a day. Jesus, imagine being a millionaire many times over and having to live on a "Buchenwald diet?" Even movie stars have their crosses to bear, it would seem.

Good example #2: Mila Kunis. Ukrainian Jew, born in Kiev in 1983. During her first couple of seasons of That 70s Show (she more or less stole the part by lying about her age; she was 14 when she tried out) I will grant you, she was cute as a cut-button in a black-haired gypsy kind of way. It didn't last. I saw her last night doing an interview about Family Guy (she does the voice of Meg.) Either she did it without makeup, or else someone on the set really screwed up, because she looked like a hag.

She's 29 now, and her face is really going Golda Meir, lips thickening, first crow's feet appearing, cheeks starting to sag, hair lank and rough-looking, and her skin is really dark--you can tell she's got a lot of Tartar in her, like Lenin did. Mila's small-boned and short enough so she won't have the blowsy, tit-sagging Jewess look as she gets older. She'll have the small, hard, brown Jewess look, if you get my drift, the one that reminds you that Jews are an Asiatic people. She could play Gina Gershon's daughter, easy.

Final example, lest this turn into a Hollywood gossip column: Natalie Portman. Israeli. At age 13 in The Professional she was a charming, impish little waif. She's 30 now, going on about 45, on a good day.

I caught her in the The Other Boleyn Girl, and she's headed straight for Yenta City. Face rounding, cheeks and lips swelling, nose flaring into the classic Hebrew 6-shape, typical Jewish camel-face heading her way like an oncoming train. She better start making appointments with some of those Beverly Hills plastic surgeons pretty soon or she won't be able to get any parts besides Yiddishe mamas.

Speaking of which, you want to see the result of a Jewess trying to stay Aryan-looking and marketable thereby? Jane Seymour, nee Wilhelmina Frankenberg. She damned sure ain't no Bond Girl no more. She's had so much facial surgery and strategic botox the skin is stretched across her cheeks and the side of her skull tight as a drum, to where it looks about to split and her nose looks almost like it will start to melt like a candle, like Michael Jackson's.

In desperation she finally agreed to do a topless scene in The Wedding Crashers and supposedly she had to have a kind of botox support system surgically installed to get her sagging Yiddishe udders up off her waist. Hmm...maybe I could make it as a Hollywood gossip columnist...

Seriously, though, in the sheer beauty department, none of these JAPs can hold a candle to Jennifer Aniston, Meg Ryan, Drew Barrymore, Reese Witherspoon, Kirsten Dunst, Dominique Swain, or even the trashed-out Lindsay Lohan.

Okay, granted that morality-wise Hollywood corrupts the whole lot of them, and I'm certainly not claiming your average Gentile film actress is someone you'd want to bring home to mother, either. But look at your big Jew producers and directors and studio heads--and who they choose to marry for their trophy wives when they can afford it, as they can. Maybe Jewish men know something about Jewish women we don't.

15 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yeah, I remember this one. It's always a hoot!

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, hell, even to the brainwashed masses, the acronym JAP - Jewish American Princess - is not a totally positive one. Even for the mind controlled masses, the JAP is a scary thing to be wary of.

You are so right, look at Woody Allen, Stephen Sshpielberg, Mel Brooks... given a choice, the LAST kind of woman a jooish man will marry is a jooish woman!

10:51 AM  
Anonymous Red Green said...

No, I don't imagine the Chosen are too happy about this one.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's fairly common knowledge that one of the reason Jewish men are such shits personally and professionally is that their mothers and wives drive them bloody insane, and so they lash out at the whole world.

3:07 PM  
Anonymous Dave said...

Does anybody out there know if there's a book or something that tells these people's real name? Where do you find this stuff out?

"Wilhelmina Frankenberg?" Good god, no wonder she changed her name

Dave 03042012 / 1702

5:01 PM  
Blogger Bemused stare said...

Mr Covington, on this subject. If you enjoy horror movies and spooky stuff, open the Wikipedia page for Tori Spelling. Just pour a stiff shot to keep off the nightmares.

7:36 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The "Hollywood gossip) angle leaves me to wonder how many celebrity JAPs and Yentas (or just plain Hollywood idiots regardless of gender or membership among the Self-Chosen) will suffer "The Curse Of The Brigade" (aka Typical Celebrity Stupidity) in 2012. As freely as the booze and dope still flow in those circles, guaranteed the number of Michael Jackson- and Whitney Houston-esque accidental suicides will be impressive.

3:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a horrible "woman" in the pic!

7:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm a Jewish man, and as much as it pains me to admit it, you've pretty much nailed it. I don't date Jewish women, period.

1:09 PM  
Anonymous Mike Starnes said...

I think I commented on this once before. I have dark hair and in college I thought it was funny to let people think I was a Jew because I knew I'd go on the list as a potential date for the Jewish sorority and get invited to a lot of their parties and functions. Boy, did I ever get an eyeful and earful of Jewish women! Neurotic, bossy, bitchy, loud and incredibly aggravating sluts all. My hat goes off to Jewish men or anybody who is brave enough (or stupid enough) to marry one of these yentas. He'll be half insane within a year.

9:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Natalie Portman wakes up crying at night because she knows she'll never ever look like a statuesque beauty like Ingrid Bergman or a good beautiful Aryan woman. Hell, seeing Ingrid Bergman old in "Murder on the Orient Express" still gets me hard because that woman was one hell of a looker.

The hollywierd jewesses squirm in their own filth crying because they know they can NEVER complete with such beauty.

Bergman ran out of Hollywood because of her marriage scandal? I think not, hell no! It was because the jews couldn't stand the vision of real Nordic beauty.

12:44 PM  
Anonymous Israeli said...

@Mike Starnes

That's why you have to use your fist, don't you get it?

In US I don't know what are the women's rights, and I do not know what's the situation in Jewish households.

Here we teach them not to disrespect their man! I think that if you do the same they will obey. But you can't because you are goym weaklings.

That's how we do it, patriarchy and ultra nationalism in our home and feminism and ultra tolerance outside.

So stupid you are that I'm mocking you in front of your face, speaking the truth.

2:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

@Anonymous 12:44PM

Actually, Ingrid Bergman was indeed a Jewess. Perhaps less than the one-quarter Jewish at which the Shitsraeli equivalent of "Bureau of Race & Resettlement" defines the minimum requirement for her to have gained automatic dual Shitsraeli citizenship, but still enough of Satan's DNA to disqualify her from claiming Aryan purity. She was fortunate in having had a delayed onset of full Yenta hideousness, only first beginning to show the telltale Yiddische Mama look just after her mid thirties, 1951 being date of the earliest photo in which I remember her looking as much like an aging Jewess as others such as Natalie Portman and Mila Kunis began to look in their early twenties. Eventually, though, she looked hideous enough to portray the notorious Yenta, Golda Meir, convincingly.

5:39 PM  
Anonymous Ronald Gold said...

Never, ever become involved with a Jewish woman or even worse, marry one. I am a Jew, and doing so destroyed my life. Jewish women all have something evil in them. Avoid them like the plague, which isn't too far from what they are.

6:49 PM  
Anonymous Jewess Conquerer said...

I like to sleep with Jewish girls and then play mind games with them. It's fun. Jewish girls are very easy. It doesn't take much effort to get them into bed. Afterward, they think you're practically engaged, and it becomes very easy to manipulate them. And I don't care if that makes me a jerk. Like I said, it's fun:-)

2:25 PM  

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