Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Now, This Is Just Silly

[Hell, why not?]


Puns For Educated Minds


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.


2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.


3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.


4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.


5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.


6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.


7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.


8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.


9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.


11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.


12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.


One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'


14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.


15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'


16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.


When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said 'No change yet.'


17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.


18. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!


19. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.


20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.


21. A backward poet writes inverse.


22. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.


23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion

1 Comments:

Blogger J. Curtis said...

How does one get a hold of you?

11:56 AM  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home