The Ten Commandments of Barack Hussein Obama
I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the Chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate. )
II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore.
III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain. Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama.
IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy.
V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. Then they will cost our public-funded healthcare system too much money, so give the old farts some painkillers and let 'em croak.
VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter by making her take responsibility for her actions by caring for an infant. So just toss that little sucker in the dumpster and forget about it.
VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery, if you are a conservative or Republican. Liberals and Democrats are free to enage in nights of wild-eyed bungholery with anything on two legs or four, in the manner of the Sainted Bill (blessed be His name!) Let one conservative slip up and his career is forever destroyed.
VIII. Thou shalt not steal, unless you've been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those do not have the motivation to better their own lives.
IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against any group unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian. These are condemned by My divine decree to be hewers of wood and drawers of water.
X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet.