Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Two Mexican Panhandling Jokes

Jose and Carlos are panhandlers. They panhandle in different areas of town.

Carlos panhandles just as long as Jose but only collects $2 to $3 dollars every day. Jose brings home a suitcase full of $10 bills, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Carlos says to Jose, "I work just as long and hard as you do. How do you bring home a suitcase full of $10 bills every day?"

Jose says, "Look at your sign, what does it say?"

Carlos' sign reads, I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support. Jose says, "No wonder you only get $2-3 dollars."

Carlos says, "So what does your sign say?"

Jose shows Carlos his sign. It reads, I only need another $10.00 to move back to Mexico.


Before the great cathedral in Mexico City, two scabby-looking panhandlers have sat for many years, begging pesos. The first one crouches behind his bowl and holds a big crucifix with Christ on it. The second one sits right beside him, wearing a yarmulke and a holding a small Israeli flag.

A kindly priest came by one day and put an equal amount of money in both beggars' bowls, but he noticed that the beggar with the cross had far more money in his bowl than the obviously Jewish beggar.

The priest said to the beggar with the yarmulke, "My Mosaic friend, I normally wouldn't ask any man to deny his faith, but I can't help but notice that the fellow beside you has made far more money than you. He might even be getting alms specifically because in a Catholic country like Mexico, no one wants to give to a Jew. Perhaps for the sake of your family, you should think about holding a crucifix as well."

The beggar with the yarmulke turns to the beggar with the crucifix and says, "So, Shloimy, looks who's telling the Moskowitz brothers their business!"


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