Tuesday, May 06, 2008

A Codger Harangues On Food Shortages

Food prices are inflating. I agree. But part of the solution is to stop eating so much. My stomach has shrunk so much that I can eat a half a can of veggies and leave the rest for tomorrow. Same thing with a $1 dollar TV dinner. Eggs are still affordable. Three or four or five brussel sprouts or broccoli or cauliflowers for me is a meal. Who needs white bread and potatoes and pasta anyway? Bagels are just white flour too, and , besides, they are kike food. Empty calories.

Most of the world lives well on brown rice and beans. Even in the turd world they have less cancer and swollen prostrates than we do here in the "land of opportunity." They may die young of other causes. Africa being of course the exception -- thank the gods for AIDS and cholera.

Yes, the price of these healthy veggies is going up too, but they are still affordable. I eat a half a meal a day, and I am not a walking skeleton. I have lost 35 lbs, but I have plateaued out at that point. Wish I could get back to a 32 waist, but, hey even at 34, most of my pants don't fit anymore.

Peanut butter and tortillas are affordable. So is soup. So is butter if you don't overdo it. I get smoked turkey and turkey bacon real cheap. Just as good or better than ham, and it's kosher -- no trichinosis. As an Israelite, I won't eat pork or any other animal that eats shit and its own babies. A delivered Chinese meal with no msg and brown rice is about 8-9 bucks and lasts me 2-3 days. A cheap cut of beef roast or neck meat becomes just as tender as heck if you slow cook it in a crock pot that you can buy at the thrift store for under 10 bucks. Pressure cooker is even better.

Rice and beans are even cheaper if you buy them dry and soak them. Microwaves and toaster ovens are also dirt cheap at thrift stores or yard sales. I have friends that once in while give me fish or pheasant or rabbit. Delicacies! If need something to munch on, popcorn works, and with my small tummy, I can't eat a whole portion.

I do not feel nutritionally deprived. Believe me, Harold, I am not exactly living the middle class dream, and I don't envy any of them either, living beyond their means. Yes, and even beer is affordable if you know how and where to shop -- and if you're not a psychotic drunk.

Speaking of which, neighborhood bars quite often have free food on special occasions like St. Paddy's day or someone's birthday. I'm speaking of neighborhood bars, not heavy metal punk or Aryan Nations bars. In the summer the old folks at the neighborhood bars bring in extra vegetables from their gardens that they don't need. Even venison sausage. I don't eat many tomatoes, and I can't stand cucumbers, but anything else is manna from heaven.

Dollar stores and farmers' markets are excellent sources of fine food. Corn on the cob is very affordable when it arrives in mid to late summer. Squash. Radishes. Sweet taters. Turnips. Parsnips. Collard greens. Fruits and berries. And, if you know enough to get them when they first appear in the spring, dandelion greens are excellent in soups, salads or just by themselves. Just do like my Granny did and go out in the back yard with a butcher knife. Of course, avoid yards that have been sprayed with insecticides.

We used to harvest wild asparagras down along the railroad tracks and the cemetary. My mother used to sit on the back porch with a homemade slingshot and get us squirrel and rabbit for the dinner table. If you know someone with a farm, you can get eggs and live chickens for cheap. If you live near a decent river. turtle eggs are a delicacy if you dig them up when they are still fresh. And, although I hate it, there is always fishing.

My ravings and hosannas amount to this: That's not sour grapes. That's not sweet lemons, that's a fact. And at my age, I qualify for food stamps and energy assistance. Haven't applied yet, but I intend to. I get Social Security minus what the IRS takes out. I still have clients. But in the meantime, I am not starving. Losing all of that weight, plus the prescription drugs that the VA provides have brought my blood pressure back down from 185/110 to 99/65, give or take a few points.

I intend to cheat the hangman, but not just yet. Revilo Oliver and Hitler knew when the time had come. I am writing a resume right now for a chap in Portland. Internet and wire transfers make that possible. He found me on Google. He tried to convince me to move out there -- wish I could. One of my army buddies at Fort Polk tried to convince me to move out there, but of course I didn't listen.

I almost moved out to Arlington -- after visiting there a few times I thought better of that! I also declined Frank Collin's invitation to move into Rockwell Hall!!!

I see that Ted Turner thinks we need to reduce the world's population. I agree. In his highminded civic mindedness, he should volunteer to be the first to go.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If this correspondent is making so much SS that he pays fed tax, then he can afford to live in Portland. Maybe not in a high-end yuppie area, but easily out in the working class 'burbs or semi-rural area.

5:31 PM  

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