Monday, May 07, 2007

Goodbye, Lady Di

[More Classic HAC, from 1997. God, has it really been ten years? Time flies when you're having fun. With simpering apologies to Elton John, thweetie. Thung to the tune of Candle in the Wind---this is the way Elton should have thung it in Westminster Abbey.)

Goodbye, Lady Di,
Thought you were a...
Anorexic bimbo glitterati slut,
As useless as they come.
Never gave a damn,
Who you were cavorting with this week,
Or what you had to say,
You were just PC scum.

And it seems to me,
You lived your life
Like a faggot breaking wind,
Superficial and annoying,
With a shit-faced grin,
And I'm glad I never knew you.
When I was just a kid,
I'd really had enough of you,
The tabloids never did.

Goodbye Lady Di,
No more champagne suppers
At the Ritz with DooDoo What's-his-name,
And no more Dior gowns.
No more Concorde flights,
No more photo-ops for every trendy lefty
Cause in town,
No matter how inane.

And it seems to me
You lived your life
Like a faggot breaking wind,
Lousy wife and lousy mother,
PC heroine.
I'm just sorry for that chump you wed,
And for your kids,
The whole world saw much more of you,
Than your children ever did.

Goodbye Lady Di,
No more piccanins with AIDS
To hug before the camera crews,
And self-promote your name.
Even when you died,
The way you died was just as pointless as
The way you'd lived your life,
In interracial shame.

And it seems to me,
You lived your life,
Like a faggot breaking wind,
When the most important thing of all
Was the media spin,
And when that drunken chauffeur
Went into his skid,
The candle splattered on concrete,
And damned high time it did.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't remember her as being anorexic? But I watch the electric joooo only rarely.

2:28 PM  

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