Sunday, June 18, 2006

UN Guard Reprimanded for Doodlecrime

The United Nations has reprimanded a security guard for drawing swastikas on a log sheet which was later seen by a guard from Israel, a U.N. spokesman said Tuesday.

The guard who drew the swastikas was issued a letter of reprimand and was ordered to attend mandatory sensitivity training, so that his doodles henceforth will display the proper degree of multicultural and tolerant sensitivity. The traumatized Israeli was offered an unstated amount of money to soothe his horrible mental anguish at the brutal and monstrous scribble.

Let me ask you something. How many of us used to doodle Swastikas on our notebooks and any convenient piece of paper when we were kids? Even before we knew what it meant? I mean, let's face it, it's an obvious and neat design. Swastikas just plain look cool, which is one reason why they are among mankind's most ancient symbols. In ancient Aryan folklore the Swastika was the sun-wheel, it's spreading arms symbolizing life spreading out through the cosmos from a central source.

The United Nations in recent years has tried to live down a 1975 resolution that equated Zionism with racism, which was repealed in the 1990s, just before the second intifada broke out in which Israel placed an entire nation of people into one gigantic open-air prison camp in Gaza and the West Bank, after slaughtering tens of thousands of them and maiming God knows how many more, including a huge number of children. Great sense of timing the U. N. has, eh?

But God forbid some Jew should accidentally see a doodled Swastika on some obscure piece of paper lying around a desk somewhere. That calls for mandatory sensitivity training, grovelling apologies, and handsome compensation to the offended hebe.

[Sigh...] Beam me up, Scotty. There's no intelligent life down here.


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