Sunday, April 03, 2005

John Paul Kaput

Okay, the Pope is dead. I will spare us all the obvious platitudes. I have never been really comfortable with the idea of the blog being used as a vehicle for rite-wing news commentary wherein I, or some other Fearless Leader, continually state and re-state the obvious to the "ooohs" and "aaahs" of the slack-jawed yokelry. You don't need me to tell you that anyone who achieves success and fame under this system is a wrong 'un. Or you shouldn't. The establishment is idolizing him and that tells us all we need to know about John Paul the Second.

And by the way, just how did John Paul the First die? I recommend a book called In God's Name by David Yallop. Makes yuh think.

I will point out that for the next month, JP Two's death and his life are all we're going to hear about on the toob. Isn't his death a lovely way to keep Iraq off the front pages?

Now, my next question is: what will the next Pope call himself? Come on now, not John Paul the Third? I want another Urban, or Calixtus, or Formosus, or Leo, or Clement. Something nice and medieval. Or better yet, Alexander the Seventh, after Alexander VI, the Borgia Pope.

In view of the possibility that John Paul I was cacked with poisoned milk or eyedrops, and bearing in mind all the P2 Lodge carry-on back in the '70s, Banco Ambrosiano, Robert Calvi turning slow in the wind beneath Blackfriars Bridge, Archbishop Cody of Chicago as corrupt as any Borgia, Bishop Marcinkus (JP II's bodyguard) being a former legbreaker for Tony Accardo in Chicago, the Fatima prophecy to add a little desperate mysticism...yeah, Alexander the Seventh would do nicely.

Hell, the way the Church is going, the next Pope will probably be a converted Congo cannibal.


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